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Spiritual Abuse

Provincial Bishop Charlene Bradley (Left), Archbishop Thomas Twose (Center) and Archbishop Philip Bradley. In St. Brigit's Community Catholic Church we do not consider gender, marital status, orientation, etc to be determinants or inhibitors to vocational callings. We take Galatians 3:28 to heart.

Spiritual abuse is a form of coercive control where religion, faith, or beliefs are manipulated to harm, control, or exploit an individual and or a group. It involves twisting spiritual teachings to create fear, guilt, or isolation, often causing deep emotional trauma. This abuse can occur within religious communities, families, entire cultures or intimate relationships.

Any attempt to exert power and control over someone using religion, faith, or beliefs can be spiritual abuse.

Historically many churches, entire countries as well as various “causes” have used or attempted to use religion/faith to justify or condone their actions. Examples would include the Crusades, Witch hunts or the countless number of genocide programs undertaken around the world specifically with the intent of ‘religious cleansing’ or religious domination of cultures, countries, target groups and even ‘dissident’ individuals.

A seemingly less violent yet very destructive form of spiritual abuse occurs when churches systemically cover up wrong doing in the name of ‘protecting the faith’! This form of abuse is perhaps most prevalent in the area of sexual abuse. Today’s growing global accountability is attempting to slowly right this long standing “protect the church at all costs” position.

The backlash against this ‘traditional’ wrong within many churches has been severe and profound. I am hard pressed to determine which is the greater evil, the abuse by clergy or its systemic institutional, global cover up for generations.

The argument is now being made, rightly so I believe, that the exclusion of women, LGBTQ+ and other marginalized people or groups by so many churches is simply yet another clear form of spiritual abuse.

Galatians 3:28 declares that in Christ, all believers are unified and equal, dismantling human distinctions of ethnicity, social status, race, culture and gender. It states: "There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus". In looking at the male/female issues alone one must ask how churches can, with entitled impunity, exclude females from clergy standings/ordinations. How insane is it to exclude literally half of the human population?

Likewise then, where does marriage or divorce, in and of themselves, become impediments to spiritual blessings or clergy advancements. If God calls someone to a vocation, who then are men to deny them?

The 1976 Pontifical Biblical Commission report was commissioned by the church and noted that Scripture alone does not explicitly forbid women's ordination still, the Magisterium maintains that Scripture, understood through Church tradition, supports this restriction. Inter Insigniores (1976) affirmed that the Church must follow Christ's example, while Ordinatio Sacerdotalis (1994) declared that the Church has no authority to ordain women, a stance confirmed as definitive in 1995.

The church commissioned this report seemingly hoping to permanently lay to rest the rising call for women's ordinations and their equal treatment within the church. Instead the report concluded that there was NO such scriptural justification for these exclusions and that the evidence was clear that women originally held the diaconate, priesthood and even were considered apostles in the early church.

The church's response was to bury this report and double down on their ‘traditions’, clearly really meaning their patriarchal position on these matters as the old men in authority couldn’t stand the idea of actual women’s equality, despite the evidence clearly before them. They then followed the example of Pontius Pilate by attempting to ‘wash their collective hands’ of any real responsibility for the matter by stating that they “had no authority to ordain women”. A classic ‘its not our fault’ move. Striking yet another blow against the uncontested strangle hold of the Curia and the claimed infallibility of the Pope!

The first people the Risen Christ appeared to were the women! Christ did nothing except by design. The church claims this constantly yet makes exceptions when it suits their patriarchal agenda!

Let us not overlook the spiritual abuse of church leaders over their clergy. For example, clergy who have spoken out about the need to report abuses to civilian authorities and those who advocate for women’s ordinations have each been disciplined, silenced, left without posts/actual positions in ministry. Crushing their potential for ministry as well as their self esteem and their own spiritual growth.

Church leaders who ‘rule’ over their clergy as though they are serfs in the leaders personal fiefdom. True church leaders work hard to make sure all clergy are heard and seen. To ensure that all feel fully included in the day to day and decision making processes. These leaders follow the example of Christ to be greater servants and lead by example not by domination tactics which, by their very nature are ‘unrighteous dominion’ as well as contrary to Canon Law.

Even at the highest levels within so many churches, it is clear that the leadership are unwilling or unable to actually follow the example of Christ meaning they are not guides leading their congregations to salvation but have become merely signposts, pointing the way for others while not moving forward themselves. Shame!

A form of spiritual abuse that Christ Himself actually raged against was the number of rules and laws that church leaders imposed on the faithful. So many that it would take a lifetime of study to grasp them all yet everyone was expected to follow all of them. According to Christ this made it impossible for many people to approach God and the shame was upon the church leadership for this.

Yet history has repeated this spiritual abuse within many churches. As an example, in the Latin/Roman Catholic Church there are 1,752 Canons/Church laws and 2,865 numbered paragraphs in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, essentially the rules for the faith. There is so much buried in these volumes that the average person cannot reasonably be expected to know let alone follow all of it.

I have spent a good part of my life studying both, only to become all the more angry that any church should seek to so totally control/dominate peoples actions, thinking and personal licence to approach Christ, Heavenly Father and the Holy Spirit. Institutions that are supposed to bring us to Christ are actively blocking or at least inhibiting the actual practice that Christ Himself established as the only way to salvation, a deeply personal relationship with Christ, guided by the Holy Spirit, conscience and love.

Did they all miss the part about “Coming to God as little children” which means approaching Him with humility, trust, and complete dependence, rather than pride or self-sufficiency? In Matthew 18:2-4, Jesus emphasizes that this childlike posture, characterized by sincerity, teach ability, and lack of pretense, is essential for entering the kingdom of heaven.

I, personally, do not ever want to hear Christ say any version of "I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness" (His stern warning from Matthew 7:21-23, concluding the Sermon on the Mount). Specifically addressing individuals who outwardly appear religious or perform works in His name but lack a genuine, intimate relationship with Him, highlighting that true faith is not merely about verbal profession but involves a personal relationship with Jesus above all else.

How does any supposed church leader miss that clear warning?

So What is Involved in Spiritual Abuse?

St. Brigit's Cross has long stood as a symbol of faith and the inclusion of the impoverished and marginalized, the very outreach of the ministry of Jesus Himself.

Spiritual abuse involves using religious doctrines, scripture, or spiritual authority to manipulate, control, or coerce individuals, sometimes entire groups, often resulting in fear, shame, and isolation. Key signs include leaders demanding unquestioning loyalty, using guilt to enforce behavior, isolating members from support systems, twisting theology to justify abuse, and creating a "no-questions-asked" environment.

Common Indicators of Spiritual Abuse

Misuse of Authority: Leaders or partners claim divine authority to demand unquestioning obedience.
Lack of Accountability: Leaders refuse to be questioned, have no oversight, and portray themselves as infallible or uniquely chosen.
Controlling Behavior & Coercion: Leaders dictate personal decisions, including relationships, appearance, and finances, while demanding unconditional obedience.
Double Standards: Leaders hold followers to rigid standards while violating those same rules themselves.
Shame and Fear Tactics: Cultivating a climate where members fear or are actually threatened with spiritual punishment from God or the leader, such as hell or loss of salvation or are publicly shamed for questioning authority or leaving. Sometimes being threatened with expulsion from the group and or ‘shunning’ (being forbidden to interact with members of the group/faith).
Manipulation & Shame: Twisting scripture, canons or beliefs to justify control and inflict shame. Religious texts are weaponized to justify the abuse or silence questioning
Isolation and Elitism: Teaching that the group is the "only true path," encouraging isolation from friends and family and support groups outside the group, and using fear of losing community if one leaves.
Demanding Secrecy: Demanding absolute secrecy and silence regarding the group's internal activities.
Psychological/Spiritual Impact: Victims may experience anxiety, depression, a feeling of "darkness" over their soul, or profound confusion regarding their faith.

Where Does Abuse Occur?

Religious/Institutional: Toxic church cultures, authoritarian leadership, and silencing of criticism.
Intimate Partner/Domestic: A partner or parent ridicules spiritual beliefs or uses them to force or enforce compliance.

Impact on Victims

Spiritual abuse can lead to severe mental health issues, including trauma, anxiety, and the destruction of a person's sense of self-worth. It often results in "religious trauma," a type of deep, lasting emotional damage.

Getting Help

It bears repeating that, if you recognize these patterns, it is important to seek support from trusted friends, family, or professional counselors outside the abusive environment.

If you are experiencing abuse, help is available.

Seek Support: Contact trusted friends, family, or licensed therapists who understand religious trauma.
Create a Safety Plan: Identify safe ways to leave or manage the situation.

If you are in immediate danger, contact local emergency services (911 throughout North America.)

What is the trauma of spiritual abuse?

Spiritual abuse is a deeply traumatic experience that can affect individuals for years, often leaving lasting scars that hinder both personal and spiritual growth (very much as occurs with P.T.S.D.). The experience of spiritual abuse involves not only a struggle with oneself but also of one's faith, trust, and even physical health.

If you think you may be being subjected to spiritual abuse, please, develop a safety plan. Here are some suggestions for such a safety plan.

Your safety plan might include:

Reaching out to support services that understand spiritual abuse.
Identifying trusted people or services you can talk to.
Keeping important documents or contacts in a safe place.
Planning how to leave or avoid unsafe situations.
Packing an escape bag in case you need to leave quickly.
Finding safe ways to practice your beliefs.

Be safe! Remember Jesus stated the most critical and succinct explanation of what truly matters in faith. What God not man holds as important. He did so when asked which commandments are the most important saying that the two greatest commandments, (according to Jesus in Matthew 22:37-40,) are to “love God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and to love your neighbor as yourself”. These commandments summarize the entire Law and the Prophets, forming the foundation of Christian ethics.

Notice the requirement to love your neighbour states “as yourself” clearly showing that we are required to love ourselves (righteously not vainly). Christ said that was important so let no one and no church undermine or destroy your self love. You are loved by a god who,"...so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16)

Love Jesus, follow His example and strive to keep His “Two Greatest Commandments”. It really is that simple, don’t let people complicate faith on you. Just live it in all that you do.

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